Tuesday, January 21, 2014

A Statement of Status

Tomorrow evening I will complete my 70th year.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks.  A lot of odd thoughts rolling around in my head.  A couple stuck out above the others.
First, when I was a lot younger I never thought I would live past 30.  Over the years I have wondered I thought that.  Perhaps is was a failure of imagination.  Having never lived those more mature years, I couldn’t imagine what they would be like and so just thought I wouldn’t make it.
Second, is the lyrics to a Beatles’ song.  How terribly strange to be 70.
I can’t say I’ve gained the answers to everything as I’ve grown older.  Mostly I’ve gained an appreciation of the vast amount of things I don’t know.  And I understand that knowledge is one of the main things that drive me.  I like to know things.  I may never use them in any practical way, but I just really like to learn things.
I spend a long time in college, and while it retarded me from establishing a long-lasting, stable career, it did let me gain a wide spectrum of knowledge about a number of things.
A lot of people may say that time was wasted.  I’ve thought the same thing in some low moments, but I still wouldn’t change anything if I had a time machine that would allow me to go back with a do-over.
No one can reach the age I have attained without some regrets.  And, there have been moments in those low times when I was overcome by those regrets.  It was only with time I accepted there was nothing I could do about all those missteps and poor decisions.
So I approach the last phase of my life not totally satisfied with what I’ve accomplished with my life, but at least mostly at peace.
It will be for others to judge whether I have wasted the time I have been given.  I only hope I will not be judge too harshly and that some of the things I’ve done will have added something positive to the world and to the lives of those I’ve touched.